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A Little Note

When I get overwhelmed or experience any heightened emotions, I tend to briefly journal it down on my iPhone. I wrote the following over two months ago. I think it’s important for me to share it with you as the feelings are even more heightened than before now that I’ve entered my final three weeks in Germany.

“For the last couple of days I have been feeling oddly nostalgic and sentimental. I’ve been away for over three months, my friends are graduating this weekend and I haven’t really felt like this yet during my time abroad, so it’s only natural, right? I mean, that’s what I thought too. Until I realized that what I was feeling wasn’t a homesickness for the States, but rather for here, for Germany - for Hamburg.

“Now, don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things I miss and am looking forward to getting back to when I get stateside - singing in the car and having an apartment to myself leading the way. And naturally I miss my family and friends as well, but I think I’m beginning to experience reverse culture shock already.

“I’ve been trying to verbalize this for weeks now. This feeling. This longing, of sorts. It’s still hard to convey. I feel homesick, I think. But that’s not right either. It’s premature, that’s what it is. I’m beginning to miss Germany, to miss Hamburg - despite still being here.

“My person is hyper aware of how temporary this time is, of how fast it’s been going. I knew I would love my time here, but I wasn’t expecting this connection, or rather this new home - even if only for seven months. I’m already nostalgic, already sentimental.”

So, like I said, I feel like this is even more pertinent now than it was then. It’s still quite difficult to verbalize but it’s there. I have less than 17 days remaining here and it’s going to be a very strange transition. Hamburg has become a home away from home. I never thought I would have made the connection I have with this place. The city and culture are absolutely incredible and I am confirmed of this every day I’m here. But the people take the cake - I’ve met some of the most incredible people here who have really helped make Hamburg feel like home and I will be forever grateful to have met them, developed these friendships with and shared this life-changing experience with. So, to all of you, thank you.

It’s not over yet, though.

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